Wednesday, July 26, 2006

the Green Book

We are all familiar with the red book and the blue book. That's the arbs. But the Green Book?

So the DJ tells a story, then plays a song relating to that story. happens all the time, right? While some Djs certainly do have an encyclopedia knowledge of music, many are dunderheads desperately in need of attention, who obliviously play whatever drek Selector tells them to. Both of these DJs can use thsi book. But only one needs it.

The Green Book classifies over 35,000 popular songs and album tracks of all genres and eras. You get nearly 1,800 subject categories and concepts cross referenced half a dozen ways.

it works like this:

President Bush tries to eliminate the Paris-Hilton-Tax.
The DJ makes a crass joke about her home movies and quickly refers to the Green book and finds 14 songs about taxes including one great one by Johnny Cash "After Taxes" which he then plays.

On a lark he looks up Paris Hilton, and then sees the band The Penfifteen Club actually wrote a song about her called "Hey, Ms. Hilton" More bad music and jokes ensue.

Then the next day, after Bush actually fires the IRS staffers who enforce the estate tax thus sending the US $55 Billion further into Debt and making the law moot. The DJ now plays predicable clips of Donald Trump saying "You’re Fired!" and quickly refers to the Green book again. He sees the Boston band "The Gravy" wrote a song about getting fired called "essential" but that songs not funny, so he plays "George Bush Don’t Like Black People" By the Black Lantern and makes fun of his poorly received NAACP speech.

Now that, is a useful book!